I thought I could do it, but volleyball and the contract job together are killing me. I think if both were of medium importance to me, I could do them both, but I love coaching so much and hate the work just as much that it's taking its toll.

I'm so lame. Either that or I really haven't allowed the world to beat me into submission with the idea that you have to do work you don't like to survive, and that's a good thing.

The truth is, if I could get through the next two or three weeks and actually get the stuff done that I need to, I'll be most of the way there. It's just hard when the work seems meaningless and the coaching is shaping young lives.