(From Phil...)
Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Let's go ride bikes!

(From one of my volleyball kids...)
Mickey and Minnie Mouse have been married for like 50 years. One day, Minnie comes home and says, "Mickey, I want a divorce." Mickey says, "Are you fucking crazy?" Minnie replies, "No, I'm fucking Goofy!"