"Sometimes on the way to a dream you get lost and find a better one."

I feel like I've always had a good idea of what I wanted to do with my life, but now I am certain. I realize that life is a journey and I will undoubtedly need to go down a path of experiences before I can reach what I feel like I was meant to do, but I can't wait to get started.

Jeff will say dreams and goals evolve throughout time, but I know that this dream of mine will always be apart of me in some capacity. I guess you could say that my dream of working for theme parks my entire life may have made me get lost and stumble upon something I'm even more passionate about.

In talking with my Mom last week, I've learned so much more about my life and it seems as though what I feel like I was meant to do has never been more clear.

Hopefully, one day, I'll be employed by an organization with a four-letter acronym or one that uses two hyphens in its name.

For now, I'm content with doing what I can to help and keep this dream inside of me glowing.

I've been meaning to blog about this for awhile now, but I'm so torn that thinking about it stresses me out even more.

Basically, ever since the "incident" with the guy on my patio threatening me through the glass door...I haven't been the same. At first I expected to have a rough week or two before it would become a distant memory and I could live normally again. The thing is, though, the unsettling feelings didn't disappear with time...they actually got worse. I feel stupid saying that I am having problems sleeping at night and even feeling comfortable in my own home.

I should mention that I saw that guy again, and it scared the you-know-what out of me. I was at my car unloading groceries during the daytime and had parked in the closer- but often neglected- parking spots next to the garages under the big tree. I was fishing bags out of my trunk when I looked up and saw the guy who attempted stealing my bike standing right in front of me. It took my breath away because I NEVER expected to see him again in my life. Scared he would recognize me, I started hurrying up and closing the trunk. He started mumbling to me which I ignored and quickly started walking towards the apartment building. Then, he started walking towards me so I said "What did you say?" To which he replied, "red, white and blue!" And I was like "I don't get what you're saying, man" while virtually running to the door. He then mumbled "like apple pie, alamode..." I know it was during the day and he was probably drunk or on crack, but you have to understand it brought me all back to that night. Once safely inside my apartment, I called my dad and asked what I should do-- call the police or tell my landlord? I decided to just go tell my landlord and she informed me that he lives in the townhomes ~20 yards from my apartment and also told me that the same night he attempted stealing my bike, he smashed through the living room door in another apartment.

Needless to say, this encounter didn't help things. I tried to blame my irregular sleeping patterns of sleeping in the early evening from 5-8pm on the Haunt, but it was really because of my nerves.

Some acquaintances from Valleyfair that I hung out with this weekend live in the townhomes over here and they reported a ROBBERY at their place this weekend.

So, it's official-- I live in the ghetto and I need to get out. I am a single young girl that has no one to look after her. And I don't know what to do.

I emailed my landlord back in the first week in October and told her my feelings and asked if there was an apartment available on a higher floor-- there wasn't. I then asked if it would work for me to look for a place over the next 2 months and move out December 1st, promising to keep my apartment spotless so she could show it to people in the meantime. She responded with the typical "2 months rent to break the lease" business, so I spent the evening one night writing an extensive, emotional email about my situation.... saying I would do whatever possible to help fill the vacancy and even post good reviews on sites and stuff. Keep in mind, I asked her upon my lease renew (stupidest thing I've EVER DONE!!) about breaking a lease if I had to relocate for my job and she said that I was such a good resident that as long as I allowed them to show my place there would be no charge. I realize that was just verbal and a completely different situation, but I thought I had a decent case. I never heard back in 2 weeks, so I have been calling, emailing and stopping by ever since trying to negotiate, but I'm not sure it will work.

Meanwhile I have been apartment shopping non-stop and have found several places I really liked, but I learned my lesson and am now consulting police records before signing a lease-- and unfortunately have run into some pretty questionable places. I had almost given up, until I found this place about 20 mins away from VF in Jordan, where a co-worker of mine lives. I'll spare the details, but it would be the best option for me-- hands down. I would feel safe, it would be a nice place for myself and they have no problems with Maggie, the list goes on.

I need to put the deposit down on this place ASAP if I want it (I know sometimes they just SAY that to lure you in, but this really is a once-every-10 years opening). At the same time, I still haven't reached a compromise with my current landlord. I wish I could just sit down and conference with her, but she hasn't been around for the past week and a half. I put a note on the office door today in hopes she'll get back to me.

My expectation that I can break the lease scot-free is very low. So do I pay the $1400 that I DONT HAVE to make a move to make me feel better about my life and where I live, or do I stay here in a potentially dangerous situation until July.

I don't think it's fair that I can't feel comfortable in my own home-- especially with the crazy hours I put in during the season. To not be able to sleep at night is rough.

It stresses me out so much and makes me feel so weak and stupid just thinking about it. I am thinking about asking my parents to go 1/4 and 1/4 and me 1/2, but we'll see.

I never intended on starting my life here alone. It's okay, I am over it now-- but it's really hard to be going through stuff like this alone on one CF salary. Annnd I have a lump in my throat and watery eyes, so I'm going to stop now. Advice would be much-appreciated.

I can't even describe how awesome it feels to have the entire weekend off. On Friday, a few of us got together and went to a friend's shindig. Last night, all of us went downtown to celebrate Chase's birthday first at the German restaurant and then to the Spin nightclub in the warehouse district. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun...and I think I know the reasons:

First off, 90% of the people I consider good friends here work at Valleyfair. This is cool because we get to see each other everyday and it's easy to stay caught up on one another's lives...but the big con is that it's impossible to all have the same time off in the summer. Now that we all have weekends off, we have time to all do something together. Now that I think of it, the last time we did so was on my birthday in April, prior to the season.

Secondly, I'm not much of a party-goer, but I do enjoy hitting the town every now and then with a close group of friends. It's not as fun when you have to have reservations because you have to work the next day. Going out (sort-of) for 2 nights in a row this weekend and not worrying about cutting the night short due to work the next day is a good feeling.

I can't remember the last time I had as much fun as I did last night-- but I know it's just a warm-up for next weekend in Florida with my bff's Dan and Julie and also hopefully some time with Jeff and Diana.

Damn, it feels good to be the offseason .

Let me first start off my saying that I love that the top two candidates for Senate have such awesome Minnesota names...

"Whatchya doin' over there, Norm?"

"Oh hey, Al, I'm putting this here Hot Dish in the oven. Would you like to stay for a little lunch?"

...or something like that...

This year's Senate race was one of the worst political battles I've ever seen, and it's not over yet. With a margin of around 700 votes, Minnesota is doing a recount. Can you believe that...700 votes?! Makes me glad I got my say in.

I guess there's no telling when we'll have our final verdict, but they're predicting the process will take at least two weeks.

For the record, in Kids Voting Norm took Al by a landslide. What will be out result?

It has been a rough week for many reasons, mainly the fact that I'm still suffering from my ongoing quarter-life crisis. Due to some new news, this week has been especially trying and last night I broke down crying on the way home from work for stupid reasons. It's difficult starting your life on your own and away from everyone.

Luckily, a talk with a friend tonight kind of forced my head back on straight and I genuinely feel better about everything and for that I am so thankful. I am where I am today as a result of many weird roads, but I do feel like everything happened for a reason (to get me here!)...so I need to trust in myself to continue to make the right decisions when it comes to not only my life and career goals, but my personal goals as well.

Thank God there's people out there that care about me enough to listen to my sob stories all the time !

Today being the first business day of the off-season, I faxed over my app to volunteer at Make-A-Wish Minnesota. I have been wanting to put in an application for awhile now, but with virtually no free time in the summer I didn't think it would be right. Luckily today I have already heard back from their Director of Volunteer Services saying he received it and will be contacting me after the background check.

I really hope that I am able to help and get involved with this organization in some way-- whether it be picking up a Wish child and their family from the airport, authoring press releases, making phone calls or helping a hearing impaired child/family get around the cities. There's a part of me that strongly identifies with organizations like this one, so I know that it would be a good match.

Also, tomorrow after work I am volunteering at the Kids Voting Event in Shakopee. Students can come in and "register" to vote by putting down which school they go to and then place their vote by filling out a ballot. Of course it doesn't count for real, but I think it'll be fun to be apart of as long as there aren't any asshole parents.

I'm hoping these efforts, although small, will not only impact children's lives, but also help me feel more at home in Minnesota and maybe even point me in the right direction for future careers. Yay, volunteering .

As much as I love working in the amusement industry, it sure feels good now that the season's over with. The problem with working at a seasonal park is just that-- it's seasonal. I've had no structure in my schedule for a little over 6 months now and it feels nice to not only have TWO days off, not only have them off IN A ROW, but to have them on a freaking weekend! It's a great thing to look forward to.

Not to mention the phone won't ring, I won't have to run around the park all the time, I can actually take time to eat lunch, etc. Of course, I'm sure I'll be missing these things REAL soon...but for now I am basking in the glory of the offseason.

YAY !!

Go to a Vikings game with the Springers!

I am pretty excited. I love downtown and I've yet to go to a Viks game here. It's going to be way weird to see a football field in the metrodome because I'm used to see the Twinkies play there .

Per my usual "I can't sleep at night anymore" (PS I will blog about that one of these nights..), I made a painting: http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?k9jc6kh6mlo

Julie and I used to do these in college and it was a blast from the past the other night when we were talking about them. Enjoy!

Tonight we had a 2 North Case (the dorm in which we all met one another) reunion thanks to the magic of Julie and I's iPhones.

It started with me and Julie...on the phone with each other for 2 hours. And then we got bored, so we called Dan. Then we added Ethan. Then Syd. Then Anthony. Lamers Matt H. and Cam didn't answer their phones.

It was really cool because we were all on the line together, yet we're all scattered all over the country-- myself in the cities, Julie in the USVI, Dan in Florida, Ethan in the D, Syd in East Lansing and Anthony in Chicago.

We went around in a circle and said what is going on in our lives... what we're up to with work, how much gas is, what we had for dinner, etc.

We're going to make this a weekly occurrence I think. It was really great getting to hear everyone's voices and all feeling like we were in the same place.

Tonight was a great night !

I can't remember the last time I had a snow day, so today was kind of interesting.

When I got to work at Noon for our 1pm opening I couldn't believe they were contemplating not opening for a few flakes swirling around. We still hadn't heard an answer from corporate by open, so we opened to, from what I could tell, a whole 15-20 people. The decision was then made around 2pm to close before all the monsters came in for makeup.

A few weeks back we were open with more staff members and monsters (almost double) the number of people in the park. Needless to say, it wasn't good for business.

With the weather the way it was, there was no way people were going to come out, and if they did they would be mad that the rides weren't running, (I guess the old Intamin standby "let's put hairdryers on the wheels!" didn't work out so well...)so I think it was a good call. It got a LOT worse shortly after we sent everyone home. There's no way any paying guests would've showed I'm sure -- probably just passholders.

So now, by default I suppose, we have 2 more days of Haunt. C-r-a-z-y! It felt weird to have a half-normal Sunday today...but this time next week it'll be the real deal.

And now, an evening on the couch with blankets, cocoa and a warm kitty on my lap

From their Web site:

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October 24, 2008

Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees’ same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a person’s fundamental rights — including the right to marry — should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8.
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Wow, go them!

I don't know why, but I was JUST talking to Matt last week about seeing the Northern Lights last October and wondering if I would see them again soon. I don't think I ever saw them growing up in MI, so last year it was pretty cool to spot them on a late-night drive home from the Haunt.

Sure enough, tonight's drive home I saw some faint Aurora Borealis Action. I'm sure it's nothing like Alaska, but it's definitely noticeable and really jaw-dropping. It was a really clear night and there wasn't much other light or whatnot on my 1am drive home from the park. I tried to snap a pic from my phone, but it was too far in the distant sky to really pick it up amongst the darkness close to me. It was, however, clearly visible on my entire drive home, from my apartment's parking lot and now from the window in my apartment.

Yes, there are some cool perks about living in "The Great North."

One bad thing about living in Minnesota is being so far from Ohio's Rockin' Roller Coast.

I was lucky enough to get to visit in September '07 to ride Maverick...and I have to admit it was a really weird feeling to be THE LAST of my coaster friends to ride it. But I didn't care, I actually think most of my friends were super excited for me to ride it and hear how I liked it...even if it was months after it opened.

This summer I made the decision early on to not visit CP this season. I could've made the trip a time or two this summer, but I saw it as just not worth the effort. Not only is it a long ass way there, but if I'm going all the way to MI/OH I'd rather spend what little time I have visiting family. And then there was the fact that somewhere between the last couple of years of visits there-- the place lost it's "feeling." Besides, I had plenty of new-to-me parks in this neck of the woods to visit (Worlds of Fun, Adventureland, Arnold's Park, Nick Universe, Little A-merrick-a), along with some old favorites like Mt. Olympus and, to a certain extent, Michigan's Adventure.

Don't get me wrong, I have fun when I go...but a small part of me always questions, "Why did I come here?" I don't know if it's because I associate my time as a worker there with unnecessary drama, or if I feel like I can't separate myself and where I'm at with the company now from my acquaintances that still work seasonally there. Anyway, there's always been some sort of complex weird-assness in the last few years, so I thought a season off couldn't hurt. I didn't know if it would take one season away or five, but I wanted to make sure that when I did return I could get "the feeling" again.

I barely think about the place as a guest--strictly as a part of the company. Tonight, though, I was watching this show I hadn't yet seen on the Travel Channel and got the chills. Not figuratively, literally...and it kind of surprised me. The footage of Magnum-- chills...the footage of MF...chills and even Dragster had me tingling. And then came the smiles and laughs with thoughts and memories of my time there. Not tears, awkwardness or regret like normal (Side note: I've always thought that, if it weren't for my 2 seasons at CP helping me get to intern at Mich Adv and then VF and then lead to my full-time job and dreams come true yadda, yadda-- that I regret working at the place simply because it made the magic go away over time).

It's kind of crazy to see my CP experiences come full circle, now that I think about it--

The "early days" when I was little the memories of camping there and visiting with my family, hanging out in Bernstein Bear land...walking on the beach in 1989 (yes, the greatest year ever), with my mom and asking her where "the boys" aka my brothers and dad were..and remembering her pointing up to Magnum and not believing my eyes. Then I stayed with Girl Scouts even though it wasn't cool anymore just so I could take the trip to Sandusky in '96...riding Raptor, Mantis and MAGNUM for the first time. The dj in the Magnum line that stretched past Enterprise, the special effects in the tunnel-- me WRITING DOWN that it was 205 ft tall just so I could tell my friends and family back home...those memories are forever solidified in my brain.

Then there was 2000 which started it all for me (much like many others). Watching the construction of the big MFer over the winter and begging my big bro Ryan to drive me to CP with other bro Alec, our first roadtrip sans the parents. RUNNING to MF first thing in the morning (from the maingate DURRR) and the bros each betting me $5 that I couldn't keep my hands up throughout the entire ride...easiest $10 ever ! I started stalking and then later joined CoasterBuzz, and you all know the rest.

The next milestone was in 2001 when CF acquired Mich Adv. My season pass to little old Michigan's Adventure suddenly worked at the greatest amusement park in the world, and that was exciting. I think I went 5ish times that summer, even making my dad wait in the parking lot while I went in the park, for the first time, by myself because we were staying 20 mins away and I whined enough to get my way. Nothing compared to 2002 where I scanned that sucker 22 times (pretty impressive considering I live in MI and was still in High School!). I went to prom with fellow coaster friend Jon in MI and immediately afterwards got in the car to drive through the night to CP for opening day of Wicked Twister. Not your typical prom after-party, I know. I guess it's important to note that it was this day that I met Matt and developed a huge crush on the kid I knew as MDOmnis.

And then came the turning point of not only working there in '03 and '04, but sleeping on property each night, eating there-- basically living and breathing Cedar Point. Looking back the first summer was great. The second summer was a more fun crew, but personally pretty crappy. I remember being SO HAPPY to have gotten my term papers that year and know I would never, ever be a slave there again (I have a photo somewhere of the biggest smile ever holding my yellow carbon-copy)!

The multiple visits I took there while working at Mich Adv in '04 were fun, but very much still feeling like I was an insider at CP-- still knowing virtually everyone, stopping in Park Ops to say hi to managers and pretty much visiting all the places I did when I worked there. But then the people I knew (tm) started faded away and moved on with their lives in. I still knew people working there, but it wasn't the same visiting in '06 and '07. It kind of bothers me that I don't know exactly why there was such a change, but I accept it.

But now, after a 13 month detox from the place (which resulted in GENUINELY not thinking about it, missing it, caring about it), I'm glad to have the warm fuzzies over that place back...even if it did take my first "offseason from CP" since 2000.

Hopefully I can take these newfound feelings for a spin next season.

I've had a weekend trip to FL planned in mid-November for a few months now. I have an annual pass to Uni that I've been craving to use again and my bff Dan lives down there now, so needless to say looking forward to this trip has really helped me get through these last couple tough weekends at the VF. Dan and I had some cool things planned, and I have a birthday surprise for him that I can't discuss quite yet-- but mostly it was just going to be chill which is cool...

...but then things got a whole lot more interesting when Julie found a $35 (or some ridiculously low price) flight to Ft. Lauderdale while I'm in town. that's right, I GET TO SEE JULIE REALLY SOON! I love that we didn't really plan this and I was already sunken into the mindset that I wouldn't see her til Februaryish, but spontaneity is an awesome thing.

So we're going to stay at the Ritz in Ft. Laudy-Daudy (at a whole $50 a night..what, what?) and kick it old school.

It's weird that we're all "adults" now and jet-set around and stay in fancy hotels and can do it on a budget. We are going to have soooo much fun!

It bums me out that my digital camera is STILL broken from April and I can't really do anything about it yet...but I'm banking on DJ and JSwo to effectively capture the moments .

24 days...

Cosetta's is a famous landmark Italian eatery in downtown St. Paul. I've had the awesome pleasure of eating there a few times in my last year and a half in the cities. They have their own parking attendant and every time I've gone you have to wait on the street for someone to leave in order to get a space. Same goes for the inside which is seemingly always packed, with a long line to get your food.

Tomorrow we're setting up for a trade show in downtown St. Paul and, as tradition calls for, we're meeting beforehand at Cosetta's for lunch. Mmmmm I SO can't wait. It's not just the awesome food, but the overall "look and feel" of the place is really cool.

In addition to lunch on Wednesday, I think I'll stop by on Thursday after the show and get some to-goness to take full advantage of their awesome menu.

As stupid as it is, it's little things like this that are exciting enough to make me stop and think about the fact that I'm very happy to have had the opportunity to live in/experience the cities. It's cool to have had the chance to call this place home, but part of me is excited to move on to my next (and final) destination where I can settle and really start my life. I'll always hold a special place in my heart for the cities and the whole "Minnesota nice" atmosphere...no matter how much I complain about how cold it is here .

Stay away from my Julie

There are so many things that I want for myself and for my life right now.

Sometimes I think that if I could just accomplish/be blessed with even one of the many things on my list, it would help me make it until the others come. But, for me, it's looking like if they ever come, they'll all be at once. I just need to learn the balance between working towards what I want and being patient. Both, I am hoping, will pay off for me in the long run.

There's beauty in the breakdown.

I got news last night that one of my former vball coaches had passed away. It's quite shocking to see this happen to someone so young (54) who probably lead one of the most active lifestyles possible.

It's times like this I wish I were home to gather with the rest of the community and mourn, but I'm thankful for all of memories I have of playing for him-- tournament breakfasts, "big girl floor skills," summer camps, jammin' out in the gym, playing against his daughter in AAU and, of course, getting our "pinks."

Coincidentally, I have plans to meet up with one of my former teammates that recently relocated to the cities at tonight's Haunt VIP party. Crazy, but it's nice to have someone around to reminisce with.

I'll pepper today in your honor, Coach K .

Overall I think it worked pretty well and looks pretty accurate. Here's a screenshot of a portion of Renegade:

I wish there was a better way to capture and have the ability to print the entire readout, but for right now I can't figure it out.

Should I try this tomorrow after work?

Neato